Literary Acrophobia: Standing on the Precipice of Draft Two

“Writing your first draft’s like climbing a mountain,” my friend Ieva said to me today.  “You keep you on pushing yourself and pushing yourself until you get the top.”

“Yeah,” I agreed.  “But then, when you get to the top, YOU HAVE TO LOOK DOWN.”

Ladies and gentlemen, I am about to look down.

Full disclosure: I’m terrified of heights.  Anyone who has ever gone skiing with me knows this. 

For the record: I love skiing.  I adore letting go, abandoning my body to the mercy of wind and gravity – I think it’s one of the closest things humans can do to flying.   But I really, really hate looking down a slope and seeing all the ways I could potentially die.  I’ve worked pretty hard over the years at shutting off that part of my brain. Because I like skiing and I know that I’ve got the skills to handle most terrain and that I always get to the bottom no matter what.  I know that if I trust myself, I’ll be OK.

But sometimes, I look down. 

The Writer's Prayer, A Poem by Josh

If one decides to write a book, 

It is important they should look,

Upon the rules which widely known

Are sure to get you by when grown:

How Tippers always make good Lovers,

As lions (in general) make good mothers,

And eating chargrilled octopi

Will fill your mouth with tentacli

To whit, I feel it most distressingly,

To tell you not to bother - flee!

For trudging out the live long day

With words that often turn to clay,

Will drive you absolutely crazy

You'll curse yourself for being lazy.

I hear you cry, "But write I must!"

Very well, come closer, listen, trust -

These rules are what you must take home

Before embarking on your tome.

For one, you must prepare to be,

Sleep deprived and never caffeine free

(For coffee is the writer's nectar

Without which surely they'd become a spectre)

And did I mention procrastination?

You'll play all your music on rotation

And waste away your brain

On Wikipedia, and in vain -

You'll try to get those hours back,

But time for bed, the sky's gone black!

Second, in the writer's rules,
Is knowing for all the precious jewels,
The muse will visit when she wants
It might be twice, it might be once,
You'll never really have a day
In which the writing went your way,
The muse? You'll have to start without her,
Get on with it, don't be a doubter!

And thirdly I would have you note,
Be never seen without a quote
Of something from your latest read
The writer in you needs to feed
On books of every shape and size
For every book will make you wise

So take these rules and use them, friend,
I hope they're useful to ascend
To heights where writers wish to be,
(The upper reaches of a tree?)
This author needs to go and work
And will not now on Facebook lurk,
And if you thought my rhyme appalling,
You might read something else whilst stalling.